“But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” -Jesus Christ
Forgiveness is not a feeling, it is a Christian duty. No one ever feels like forgiving those who wronged them. But luckily, forgiveness is a choice. It is an act of the will that decides not to hold onto bitterness, but rather chooses to love those who do not deserve it.
When you forgive, it is important to be specific about who wronged you and how you were sinned against. Just as it is important when you confess specific sins, it is important to not hide the details of why you are forgiving another person or people group. The more specific you are when you forgive, the more the anger from your soul will get drained. The bigger the grievance, the longer the process of forgiveness will take. But the process will never get started until you choose to forgive.
Forgiveness is a one way interaction, while reconciliation is a two way interaction. This means you can forgive those who have passed away, and you can forgive those who will not admit they are at fault. However, you should create a boundary around someone who does not admit that they have wronged you, especially if the pattern of being sinned against continues. But you can still forgive someone who does think they need to be forgiven.
Forgiveness does not always lead to reconciliation, but forgiveness is needed for reconciliation to take place. For example, Jesus Christ forgives everyone, however not everyone will be reconciled to God unless they repent of their sins and want to have a relationship with God. When we forgive, we let go of the role of being The Judge over others. Our job is not to play God and judge other people, but rather to be obedient to what Jesus commands us to do, which is to pray for those who persecute us, to love our enemies, and to bless those who curse us. These statements aren’t just nice thing to believe, but they are commands from the true Judge, Jesus Christ. Our christian duty is to forgive and let Christ be the judge. If we do not forgive, Christ will not forgive us (Matthew 6:15).